tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63300182011-04-21T23:21:36.639-04:00Diaries of a Disgruntled Tempoverqualified and underenthusiastic, our protagonist chronicles her adventures in cubicle dystopiaDisgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comBlogger301100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1081526490447635692004-04-09T12:00:00.000-04:002004-04-09T12:05:20.310-04:00April 5, 2004
Medical Records Inc.
P.O. Box 5582
1020 Quebec Road
Green Bay, WI 54308-5582
Re: GE Group Administrators
Patient: Suzie McFarce
Dear Medical Records Inc.,
We are in receipt of your re-sent invoice number 2-XL-14965 for the amount of $19.29. These charges are for the medical records of Suzie McFarce. These medical records were requested on 03/04/99.
Please know that we Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1079556769873829422004-03-17T15:52:00.000-05:002004-03-17T15:56:07.716-05:00Dear Ms. Meredith,
I am at work. I lost my cell phone for 3 days. Upon locating it, I began doting on my cell phone to express my appreciation.
Some people said, "okay that's weird". And I was like, "I just found my cell phone and it needs to know how much I appreciate it!" and they were like, "so its okay that you are talking out loud because you found your cell phone?"
I feel like sayin, oh Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1077912200756710142004-02-27T15:03:00.000-05:002004-02-27T15:06:13.153-05:002 great ways to look busy:
Use multiple envelopes when sending letters in response to a series of charges, even if they are all listed on one bill. The sheer volume of envelopes will fool your supervisor into thinking you have been very productive.
Print out lots of articles about acupuncture from the internet. Since you have to pass by your supervisor’s desk to reach the printer, she will Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1077656608601494442004-02-24T15:55:00.000-05:002004-02-24T16:06:16.936-05:00I have not done anything work related in the past 5 hours.
My trainer, mind you, has been totally AWOL for the 2nd day in a row. So there isnt much work I can do unless she shows me how to do it.
I would rather sit motionless with no work in sight than toil and get carpal tunnel
But I figure, why complain. As I sit motionless for hours and hours, I try to go to my happy place. A place where IDisgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1077550623061056472004-02-23T10:36:00.000-05:002004-02-23T10:39:49.233-05:00In a fit of preventative body odor desperation, I applied some really old ladies’ anti-perspirant on my armpits today. I hate strong smelling deodorant, especially those designed for women. They smell like flowers growing in a nuclear waste dump. Sort of sweet, but laden with so many bloody chemicals that the primary odor screaming “not made in nature” overwhelms their victim whenever you are Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1077286292331916582004-02-20T08:47:00.000-05:002004-02-20T09:14:14.670-05:00Darn it all. I PROMISED myself that I would not bring up the saucy topic of S-E-X in this blog.
I guess this last post sort of breaks that “no mention of hanky panky in your Disgruntled Temp blog” commitment.
But I really did refrain from mentioning making out, etc, for nearly a month. And I think I deserve credit for my reserve, however fleeting.Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1077284408934039152004-02-20T08:38:00.000-05:002004-02-20T08:49:41.496-05:00It seems I accidentally called the 800 number to a hotline greeting “all you hot and horny guys” yesterday. I intended to call the 800 number of one of our Texas divisions.
I wish I worked at a porn company. Okay, so unless it was like Babes in Toyland, my coworkers would probably consist of smarmy men who have never heard of the female orgasm and who would cause me to boil over with second waveDisgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1077031556774246922004-02-17T07:41:00.000-05:002004-02-17T10:28:34.983-05:00With a job like mine, I can never quite get even with the nastiness the Giant Evil puts upon the world.
But I can get mad and be passive-aggressive about it. I like to tell the Giant Evil just how I feel through my selection of passwords. Words like torture, agony and despair. Words like evil company, underpaid, and thankless toil.Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1076525538626887482004-02-11T13:51:00.000-05:002004-02-11T13:54:48.280-05:00Dear Jesus Christ,
I want out of my housing situation ASAP.
I bet you'd be pissed if somebody broke into your house. Like, oh Mary is heaving in extreme birthing pain when somebody some assholes decide to steal the mangers and swaddling cloth. Where would you rest your head? With what would they wrap you? They would have to tie you to a donkey so that you would have a semi-soft surface on whichDisgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1076074694758428972004-02-06T08:28:00.000-05:002004-02-06T08:40:37.530-05:00The Disgruntled Temp's Breakfast of Champions:
1 cup of coffee, for artificial enthusiasm
1 bowl of cereal, to sustain your body while your mind is off for 8.5 hrs at work
1 birth control pill, to keep my ovaries happy
1 150mg Effexor XR, antidepressant
1 40mg Strattera, to regulate my ADHD enough that I do not get fired and thusly still have an income
1 flax seed oil gel, to assist in carrying Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1075902286431083862004-02-04T08:36:00.000-05:002004-02-04T08:47:06.390-05:00I would like to take a moment to say that Al Sharpton rocks my socks. I saw his speech following the primaries was on CNN in the cafeteria downstairs.
Mr. Sharpton reminds me that, no matter how much I bitch and complain about my job, I have many more opportunities before me than most of the people in the world. It is deeply important to be aware of my own privilege and to also be a good ally.
Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1075822114614232052004-02-03T10:28:00.000-05:002004-02-03T10:30:53.356-05:00Disgruntled Temp #2 ... morning
Disgruntled Temp #1... you in trouble for "excessive use of the internet"?
Disgruntled Temp #2... not yet
Disgruntled Temp #1... i am lowering mine
Disgruntled Temp #1... by messing with html
Disgruntled Temp #2... yeah, me too
Disgruntled Temp #1... on my webpage
Disgruntled Temp #2... hehehe
Disgruntled Temp #2... at least Janet said that she knows I don't have Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1075821942707514232004-02-03T10:25:00.000-05:002004-02-03T10:28:01.483-05:00Disgruntled Temp #2... i have a phone interview at 1:15pm here
Disgruntled Temp #1... a phone interview for what?
Disgruntled Temp #1... another job?
Disgruntled Temp #2... Mt. Holyoke job
Disgruntled Temp #2... :)
Disgruntled Temp #1... i admire your um
Disgruntled Temp #1... i admire your audacity
Disgruntled Temp #1... well, in honor of your interview
Disgruntled Temp #1... i think i'll start Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1075745212568497822004-02-02T13:06:00.001-05:002004-02-03T16:10:44.746-05:00Dear Ms. P,
I just added the code to get comments on my webpage. The comments section is so very lonely. I have no comments.
You, Ms. P, could do something about this situation. For less than pennies a day, you could provide one attention starved first worlder with the love and mental nourishment she needs to become a fully productive, useful, efficient member of society (or as much as she can Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1075731177269564952004-02-02T09:12:00.000-05:002004-02-02T09:15:14.793-05:00I put a pink ladies “sanitary napkin” in the waistband of my polyester corporate issue pants and sauntered to the bathroom this morning. Though aware that I was not carrying a lethal weapon, my swagger resembled that of a disgruntled employee who has a gun in her pocket, and she knows it.
I felt like a third wave, badass, take no shit Calamity Jane straight out of the new millennium. Except thatDisgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1075403964829121702004-01-29T14:19:00.000-05:002004-02-02T09:02:26.216-05:00I am at work and bored. The mouse in the cubicle next to mine is bored also. Or was bored, before its demise. The mouse was turned strangely upside down again this morning, as if it had died of boredom, or felt compelled to suicide, rather than face another day of claims adjudication. I think this mouse was trying to find a way out of the Giant Evil building, but I do not think it would get far Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1075323678100755182004-01-28T15:58:00.000-05:002004-01-28T16:03:29.293-05:00I am now officially in love. The Margo DeMello, the president of the House Rabbit Society also has a PhD in cultural anthropology. She wrote Bodies of Inscription: A Cultural History of the Modern Tattoo Community. The description of the book which gathered praises from the likes of Gayle Rubin, makes my heart go pitter patter.
I love bunnies and cultural anthropology. So does Margo DeMello. I Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1075320106224992282004-01-28T14:59:00.000-05:002004-02-03T16:11:22.653-05:00Dear P,
How are you? I think that everyone on my team at work may be dead or in comas or invisible.
The loss will be emotionally difficult to navigate, but I will somehow survive with the aid pictures of bunnies I put around my computer to remind me that there is still hope and joy in the world. Also, Great Evil may decide to hire me full time. And we all know that a salaried job with benefitsDisgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1075319260786195572004-01-28T14:45:00.000-05:002004-01-28T14:49:51.280-05:00I plan to spend the next several days custom designing my Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie . Perhaps then the Great Evil will promote me to the engineering department, where I shall become the paragon of productivity.Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1075235661115863442004-01-27T15:34:00.000-05:002004-01-27T15:36:30.466-05:00Disgruntled Temp #1... it is amazing
Disgruntled Temp #1... the extent to which
Disgruntled Temp #1... great evil's decision to use computer programs
Disgruntled Temp #1... that are nearly older than god
Disgruntled Temp #1... prevents us from even getting near
Disgruntled Temp #1... optimum levels of productivity
Disgruntled Temp #2 ... well, it costs a lot of money to get licenses for newer Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1075123006202133332004-01-26T08:10:00.000-05:002004-01-26T08:18:53.996-05:00Our protagonist recently discovered some kindered spirits of despair in nearby cubicles. Now she can converse about the day's drugery over the company sanctioned intranet electronic chat module with her comrades battling boredom in the trenches Giant Evil's administrative warfare.
Disgruntled Temp #1...today i am going to be
Disgruntled Temp #1...ms. productivity lady
Disgruntled Temp #2...goodDisgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1074776921134963042004-01-22T08:03:00.000-05:002004-01-22T08:10:43.543-05:00While at work, our protagonist enjoys sending emails full of overblown metaphors to her friends.
Me:
You man of soil and sun!
You man of sand and sky!
Dude, you need to call me. I have Uri withdrawl.
Uri:
all of a sudden all of uri's friends have uri withdrawal. what gives?
all right. i'll call you later today. got any interesting plans?
uri (the anti-drug)
Me:
How could I possibly live Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1074694285846921702004-01-21T09:08:00.000-05:002004-01-22T08:11:39.560-05:00For brilliant commentary on the state of the world, I suggest you visit P's site, Half the Sins of Mankind. My platonic, non-monogamous fiancee also has a boring insurance job, and so I consider her my partner in crime. Except that P has health insurance benefits and a salaried position.
Until her company gets around to firing her, that is.Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1074628257105700022004-01-20T14:49:00.000-05:002004-02-03T16:12:14.873-05:00In an email, my friend P wrote:
Still employed, though I think today might be the day...
(the day when she finally gets fired, that is)
P
Never missing a chance to rant, I replied:
Well, good luck. Apparently before they fire mass groups of people here at Great Evil, they give you an All American lunch and encourage folks to gorge. So at least maybe you will get a good lunch out of this Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1074264241254274842004-01-16T09:40:00.000-05:002004-01-16T09:45:55.233-05:00I can not believe that I ever abandoned my love for Hello Kitty. I am overcome with cuteness. I have spent the last 2 days at work cooing over the cuteness that is Deery Lou, Chococat, and crew.
I mean, how could you possibly not love a character that combines two of my favorite things - chocolate and cats? I want to buy some chococat stickers and a chococat iron on patch and a chococat portableDisgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1074112490844523352004-01-14T15:34:00.000-05:002004-01-14T15:36:42.356-05:00Today I made a bad decision. A decision which may prove irreversible and may well influence the trajectory of my at office activities from here into the future.
I visited the Hello Kitty website and began browsing it in depth. I am downloading obscene amounts of disgustingly cute screen savers and wallpapers. I am printing out Hello Kitty envelopes and coloring sheets. I am contemplating the Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1074111681746240012004-01-14T15:21:00.000-05:002004-01-14T15:23:13.436-05:00I hear they give Navy SEALS a fake tooth with a lethal chemical inside so they, if caught by the enemy with no viable escape in sight, can bite down hard and kill themselves on their own terms. Much like these masterminds of endurance, I feel caught up in the temping world with no viable exit, at least until the end of this presidential administration. By brain is sending me a SOS as it is about Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1074111451065865162004-01-14T15:14:00.000-05:002004-01-14T15:19:22.810-05:00I am eating Lindt chocolates, remnants from the Christmas party that broke the monotony of a day but not the drudgery of being stuck amongst cheesy seasonal decorations and overbearing overhead lights.Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1074104079233343852004-01-14T13:10:00.000-05:002004-01-14T13:16:30.890-05:00The company where I temp has resovled to monitor all of my activities, including my internet access. I have an inkling that the internet monitoring people would not appreciate me visiting any of the saucier websites that comprise a majority of my interests. And yet I am sick, so very sick of the "Show me a Bunny" generator at rabbit.org. http://www.rabbit.org/fun/net-bunnies.html. Perhaps I shallDisgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6330018.post-1081034692330500402003-12-19T18:23:00.000-05:002004-04-03T18:28:34.030-05:00Dear Ms. Summs,
Please note that our insurance company is in error. Your reputation is worldwide. therefore, your doctor need not provide further history or documentation of prior coverage for your preexisting condition. We will fully cover the cost of your lobotomy.
Please note that botched procedures also carry the option of the fully covered medical procedure of euthanasia. However, it is Disgruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00725986452573183627noreply@blogger.com